you were '50s cool in blue suede shoes

I’m like that. Either I forget right away or I never forget. Samuel Beckett (from Waiting for Godot)

Trying to converse with adults:

Me: Hi.
Adult: WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT DOING FOR COLLEGE HAVE YOU VISITED ANY SCHOOLS DO YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND DO YOU HAVE YOUR LICENSE DO YOU PLAY ANY SPORTS YOU SHOULD GET A JOB I HEAR GETTING A JOB IS A GOOD THING GOTTA LEARN THE VALUE OF THE DOLLAR EH WOT

true embarrassment lies within your first email address

“dude look at the personality on that girl”

“oh shit man i’d talk to her all night long”